


Barney meant safety.

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Half Life Fics among other things [4]
Category: Half-Life
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Comfort, Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Only a slight panic attack, Panic Attacks, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26015611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: Gordon has a nightmare and doesn't fully understand just what it was. Lucky for him, Barney's here to explain.----Follow up fic to"An Iberian Magpie's Wings"
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Series: Half Life Fics among other things [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757260
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	Barney meant safety.

Blood. There was so much blood. Drenched deep in his uniform, upon his fathers, in his hair. Sickly sticky nearly dried blood covering him as he frantically made his escape from Black Mesa. Was there even a way to escape? He'd never been outside its walls before. Never seen the sunlight. What would he do once he got out? Fly away? But where to?

Scared.  
He was scared. Oh so frightened of it all. So startled and shocked, his wings quivering in fear.   
He needed out.

Needed out.

Needed out.

Needed-

"Gordon?" A voice called.   
Shaking.  
He was being shook.  
Why was he-

"Gordon. H-hey bud look at me, look." Barney's voice was thick with worry. His hands frantically shaking Gordon out of whatever nightmare he was having. Gordon instantly shot up and shoved away from the touch, unsure of where he was or who was there. His mind clouded with a combination of exhaustion and fear.

Barney carefully stretched his wings out, slowly moving his hands up to show he meant no harm. Stretched wings meant safety. Meant he was safe. Gordon was safe. His breathing slowly fell to a normal pace, frantic thoughts quickly beginning to disperse once he clicked together just where he was.

He was safe.  
He was in Black Mesa.  
Barney was there.  
Barney meant safety.

"Can I- are you okay if-" Barney didn't need to ask twice. The second the words left his mouth Gordon was latched onto him in a tight hug, wings wrapped completely around his partner best they could manage. This happened sometimes.

Sometimes things in Black Mesa got too rough on the poor prototype's head. Sometimes he'd start having nightmares and wake up confused and afraid. Unsure of what they meant. He hadn't even been out of his tank for more than a month when the Resonance Cascade struck. His nightmares growing worse with each day they spent trying to escape.

Gordon wasn't one for violence. Didn't like attacking the aliens. Didn't like having to watch scientist after scientist and guard after guard die over something so horrific. He wasn't made for this. He was made for experimentation and the occasional test. Not made for...for killing…

Barney softly shushed his sobs, rubbing small circles into his back to sooth him. This happened often.

Barney meant safety.

"You okay now? Wanna talk about it?" He knew the answer was always no, but it was still good to ask in case it changed one day. As predicted, Gordon aggressively shook his head. "Thats alright, heart. You don't have to if you aren't ready. Just breathe."

" _ I'm so sorry. _ " Gordon signed with trembling hands, " _ I shouldn't keep waking you up like this. Its not...you shouldn't...I just don't understand why this keeps happening. _ "

"Its fear Gordon. Stuff like this happens sometimes."

" _ But I've never had dreams like these before, Barney. They aren't- they- _ "

"Nightmares. They're nightmares. You probably haven't had them before because you didn't really have anything to fear when you were back in your tank. Being out here with all this...I don't know uh…"

" _ Blood, death and danger? _ "

"Yeah. That. It does a lot to you after a while. Shits terrifying to think about and even more unsettling to see first hand. I'd honestly be more surprised if you  _ didn't  _ have nightmares like this."

" _ So they're normal? _ "

"Yep! They're- I mean they aren't good. But they're normal. They happen to the best of us."

Gordon took a deep breath and sighed. He pushed himself away from Barney's chest, wiping the near dried tears from his eyes and doing his best to properly compose himself. He felt even more exhausted than he did when he'd been woken up. Funny how crying took so much energy out of you for being something so simple.

"Nightmares are normal."  
" _ Nightmares are normal. _ "

"You try and get a little more rest, okay?"

Gordon nodded. With a huff he pressed his head against Barney's shoulder, eyes dropping shut with the sheer amount of exhaustion that draped over his body in an instant. He was safe. Barney's wing covered him like a blanket, the smaller man making himself comfortable to properly hold his partner.

He was safe.  
Gordon was safe.  
Barney was here.

Barney meant safety.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to know more about this AU?  
> Info about it can be found [here](https://enby-crow.tumblr.com/post/624977381029986304/you-said-you-had-a-regular-half-life-version-of) and [here](https://enby-crow.tumblr.com/post/626959158684598272/can-you-say-more-about-the-hl-wing-au-just-in)
> 
> I think a lot about this au. More so than I do about Operation, the HLVRAI wing au. Because I think the dynamic between Gordon and the situation hes from, and Barney who's having to help him through it, is very interesting!


End file.
